Rollercoaster

Recovery is a funny thing. I've slowly and steadily been climbing another big hill and the dips have been shallower and easier to overcome. Just when I get a handle on living with anxiety and getting more comfortable with myself, my headaches return. My horrible tension/sinus headaches that plagued me for years and were totally absent while I was going nuts and not eating and not sleeping. Well they're back. As my counselor says, find something positive in every day. Yeah...positive. I'm no longer running around with adrenaline leaking from every pore, so my blood vessels are normal sized again, so tension causes headaches. So the anxiety is better, therefore I get my headaches back. Joy. My only question now is do they have to be EVERY day? Like every moment of every day my head feels like there's a fire under my skin and my forehead and jaw ache like it's going out of style. Which of course alarms my inner hypocondriac because then I obsess that my blood pressure is too high, that maybe there's another reason for these headaches beside the requisite "tension". Which brings back my old friend anxiety (only without the steady adrenaline IV that may or may not have kept my headaches away).
Oh, and I have something else to worry about!! Yipee! I'm trying a new antidepressant... behold: the side effect fairy is smacking me on the head with her fuzzy baton. My reaction to medications is usually the same...headaches, nausea... check and check. And side effect headache, not helping standard want to knock myself out headache. *sigh*
Whoever invented blogs is wonderful. Seriously. It's likely another soul will never read this but it makes me feel better just writing it all down. Thanks to Leila over at theperfecthypochondriac.blogspot.com/ for inspiring me to write my own issues down. God bless you, Leila!