I'm finding my way back to sanity again
though I don't really know what I'm gonna do when I get there.
(lifehouse)

So, here's my deal:
A little more than a month ago I had a panic attack. Rapid heart rate/nervousness that lasted all night. And my life has not been the same since. It's like every issue I have in my life has been magnified and they're all trying their hardest to be the biggest issue in my life.
I've learned a lot in the last month, about the nature of anxiety...how the mind can pretty much take over your body and dictate that you're never going to relax again. I've learned that there's a lot of people out there like me. I've also realized this wasn't something that just "started" a month ago. It's been there, lurking for years just waiting to jump in and take over. I've learned relaxation techniques and breathing techniques and what it's like to fear everyday things. I've also learned how awesome the people in my life are. My family and best friend have been above and beyond the best people I could have around me. They don't understand how I feel but they try to and help me more than I think they'll ever really know.
It's hard, because I've never been dependant on others for my emotional well being (or the fact that I'm still sane)...I've always been someone who holds everything inside and tries to keep control over everything. And like many (I'm guessing) neurotic control freaks, I fail to control anything.