I'm not sure what happened to me today but I'm in anxiety central right now. I'm dizzy (sort of), it's more of a disconnected feeling, like I'm lightheaded without seeing spots. Wondering what could be causing this is (of course) freaking me out. All I want to do right now is go crawl into bed and hopefully feel better, but I have another hour before I can leave work, then I go straight to my counselor's office. I really do enjoy talking with her every week, she's very helpful to me in dealing with the emotional rollercoaster that is my life. I guess I get nervous about WHAT to talk about. I mean, I have no shortage of issues, but they come and go so quickly that what has me convinced I'm dying one second won't even be a blip on the radar in an hour. It's not that I don't feel comfortable telling her all my little ups and downs, it's the fact that they come and go so much that has me questioning my sanity. I mean, take right now for example. I'm dizzy-ish and feel very keyed up. I've taken a half of one of my anxiety pills but have yet to feel the effect. I blame some of this on reading over patient testimonials of different drugs I've taken and the side effects of each. My issue right now is different from what I normally feel when I experience anxiety and that's what has me worried. Of course I should be used to that, there's always something new. The second I "get over" something there's something else to take its place. Do I do this? Am I latching onto things in order to NOT have to deal with *nothing* being wrong? That's what it feels like, but the knowledge of this and the fact that I very very much want to NOT dwell on this stuff so much *should* help me. It's not. I go from allergies to anxiety to worrying about yeast infection treatments to anxiety about my heart and on and on and on. Now I just want to cry.
This crap *sucks*...and the ride continues.
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1 comment:
Oh, how my week has been craptastic too! There must be something in the water.
I envy your courage to even see a therapist. That's way beyond me.
And there's been plenty of times when I thought I was going insane, (although some might say I'm already there). I think the ups and downs are part of being an anxiety-ridden hypo. Glad to know I'm not alone!
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