Day One

My next few entries might bore others, but I'm blogging for myself, so you can just ignore these posts if you don't want to read about me whining. Posts will be tagged 'lexapro'
So I've been REALLY down lately, moreso than usual, and the anxiety is back in full force. It's that hopeless feeling that has you anticipating how crappy you're going to feel and then making it a reality. So I made the decision to give the old antidepressants a try. This time I chose one for myself, I did the research and decided that I was going to try lexapro. So I saw my psychiatrist yesterday and got my Rx and off we go...

He told me to start out by taking 1/2 of a dose (5mg) every night at bedtime. I did that last night and laid awake until I finally popped an anti-anxiety pill at 1 am to calm myself down. That's the problem with anxious people and meds. The act of taking meds so often causes anxiety symptoms that just so happen to be identical to the side effects of the medication! Imagine that!
So today I'm sleepy, and hella nauseous. Let me just say that none of this is new to me at all. Even on the nights that I get "enough" sleep it never seems like enough to my body. And the nausea is anxiety related. I have a hard time eating anything at all and if I don't will it to stay down, frequently throw up what I've managed to eat, or any water in my stomach. I spend all day thinking that I'll feel better if I could just empty my stomach, but that relief only lasts a short time. There are other digestive issues involved, but I'll leave that up to your imagination.
Let's just say nausea is NOT my friend but it keeps showing up anyway, bringing luggage that seems way to large to have been checked on an airplane. To give you an idea of the level of nausea, I'm 5'10", at my heaviest in March I weighed 198 lbs. I now weigh 165 and there has been no dieting and not much channge in the level of exercise that I do. Essentially I've dropped weight because I've had spans of time when eating is not on the menu (so to speak). So I'm very eager to get this medication in my system to a theraputic level where I can have some relief for the anxiety and depression (as promised by lexapro.com). I'm optomistic despite being unbelievably sick and tired of all this. Oh and my dad (who I love to death) told me to 'snap out of it' yesterday. That was helpful, thank's Daddy.
So tonight I'll be taking another half at dinner instead of bed. Yippee. See ya tomorrow.